Sunday, February 26, 2012

Wishing I was different.

This anxiety attack that I am having, as I type these words, are the worst ones ever. They slowly creep up on me and I can feel them coming but can do nothing to prevent them. Everything annoys me, every little thing drives me up the wall. I can feel it start in the center of my chest and it oozes out from there to the rest of my body.
As I lay here trying to settle down, everything he says and does bothers me and I don't know why. I wish he would comfort me but when he tries and hit a spot that triggers me I snap. I try my best to explain, but I am so rallied up that it comes across as bitchy. Then he moves away and it flues my fires and I want to scream, yell, throw things... So I move on to the floor to try and relax. He is not listening to me tonight, so why bother. Still wishing he would just try and comfort me, but he retreats to what I guess is the living room... As I lie her on the floor wishing I didn't feel this way. I know he won't comfort me tonight. Who could blame him. I'm hopeless.